When victims are able to find support to leave or can be supported whilst still being in the abusive situation, (often staying in the situation is dictated by family courts), then control can slowly be regained. Recovery can include amongst other steps:
To know that certain patterns of behaviour exist and are recognised, that other people have almost identical experiences, and victims don’t cause the abusive behaviour can be a relief. Finding ways to connect with other survivors’ experience through social media sites, books and support groups and agencies can help.
Victim Support organisations’ experience shows that at whatever stage of reporting abuse victims prefer to be referred to as survivors and this can empower and strengthen the resolve needed to recover.
3. Get your Emotional Needs Met
From a Human Givens point of view therapists trained in this model of psychotherapy will know that if you can encourage someone to start meeting their inner needs this can be the start of breaking away and a way to start healing from the abuse. It can also be the start of weakening the ‘toxic’ dependency, physical and emotional, and help find the strength and resilience to take the actions necessary to be safe and secure.
4. Trauma Recovery
The survivor’s security system may have stored up the traumatic events/abuse in order to keep safe; the body’s flight/flight system is activated and on high alert. This can result in anxiety, anger issues, flash backs, nightmares, lack of motivation, depression and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Once in a safer and more secure place emotionally and physically the process of filing away those traumatic events can help to lower emotional arousal and hyper-vigilance. A Human Givens therapist will be trained in a safe and non-intrusive technique to do this.
All of us deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Perpetrators of psychological abuse may have been the victims of abuse themselves, often in childhood, but this does not excuse abusive behaviour.